You can tell by the way that I stalk my stalk

Just a few of the people I've done the Barry Bulsara on in London...

Lulu
Back in the 80s she lived up in Highgate village - might still do for all I know. Used to see her pottering about. Always jolly, smiling away. Oh and well tidy...

Simon Cadell
Not the fragrant Shakepearian - that's Simon Callow - but the one that was the main bod in Hi-de-Hi. Was in a packed pub in Victoria, London. He was pissed and pissed-off waiting for somebody or so it looked. It was only a matter of time when the first voice went up: "Hi-de-Hi" and the whole pub replied: "Ho-de-Ho".

He got up and shouted in that actor's voice: "Fuck off you set of cunts"

Probably his funniest line ever...

Rolf Harris
Walking down Regent Street, whistling away to himself. Not sure if it was Two Little Boys or not. But my mate stopped him and said: "For fuck sake tell us what it is!"

"It's a fucking painting you daft pom" was his reply as he continued on his merry way

Tommy Cooper
Absolutely wankered in The Woodman by Highgate tube. Wife was as bad - sad fucking site

Raquel and Cassandra
The sorts from Only Fools. We saw 'em on successive nights in different pubs. Dell's bit was really good-looking - much more than on the telly. Rodney's was trying to get her husband out the pub (google his name). She had the kids in tow and it was getting very messy...

Kate Moss
For two weeks I saw here everywhere... She was/is fucking gorgeous

Boy George and his entourage
Could probably add in all the rest of that 80s London "scene" - set of twats the lot of them.

George Melly
Could probably add in all the rest of that Soho "scene" - set of likeable drunks the lot of them.

Robbie Coltrane
Fucking massive, arrogant get. Walking through Berwick Street market - he wasn't buying fruit!

Robert Smith
Sans make-up. Used to drink in same pub as us - cracking fella. Said to us once: "Do you mind if I sit with you and talk football?

"These fucking goth tourists are doing my head in."

Sophia Loren
She was doing a book signing in Liberty in London. Me and a mate from work queued up, got to the front and she said: "Where's your book?"

"Oh, I just wanted your autograph"

"No book - you can fuck off"

Got a bit of a twitch on when she said that...

More next time (maybe)