Monday, 13 October 2008

Things you're still doing in your forties that you should have given up in your twenties

Thinking you’ve a chance with 19-year old girls
Pissing in bottles on coaches
Actually travelling on coaches
“Doing the day”
Thinking that Heskey “has got something”
Watching MTV Base
Checking out what people are wearing at the match
Considering buying a motorbike
Talking about the performance of cars
“Turning your arm over for a few overs in the summer”
Searching for clothes that you wore in your twenties
Getting involved in a pub brawl
Arguing about God/politics/football
Going the rugby
Going the shop in your trackie bottoms and replica shirt
Willing the ball to come to you when you pass some kids playing football
Not eating on a Saturday
Listening to four skinny indie kids in a bar in Camden
Spending more money than the previous year on a winter coat.
Browsing through the lads mags section in Smiths
Being shocked by pornography
Considering taking up smoking as it’s becoming too unfashionable
Getting your ear/nipple/lip pierced
Discussing who is currently the best rapper
Cheating on the missus with some ugly trollop
Eagerly awaiting the latest adidas reissues
Trawling myspace to listen to the band on the cover of this week’s NME
(Even) Considering buying an ironic tee shirt
Playing 5-a-side football. And taking it seriously
Buying pudding, chips and peas at midnight on your way home from the pub
Doing drugs

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