a pound, I shit a pound

Right then,

I finally decided it is time to do something about my weight and last Wednesday I went and enrolled at Weightwatchers.

I didn't know what to expect, I had images of Majorie Dawes and Yvonne from Peter Kay's Slimming World tale. It is not a million miles away!

After filling in more forms than your average civil servant, I was finally enrolled, and Danielle (the leader) invited me onto the scales. Now it is about 4 years since I last weighed myself but I thought I had a fair idea of my weight. To my horror it was almost 2 stone higher than I'd anticipated, which left me with the feeling that I'd made the right decision to attend.

As a new member, you are invited stay for the meeting and afterwards the leader will take you through how the weightwatchers points system works etc. The meeting begins with Danielle standing in front of a before and after picture of herself 'from fat munter to slim ugly pig'. She then proceed to pass around a 1lb block of lard to make those who'd lost only a 1lb realise how much that was. Lots of oohs and aahhs later, she passed around a bag with 12lb of weight in it. The challenge was in the 12 weeks up to Christmas to aim to lose a lb a week. Nods all around. At this point, my mind started to drift as she'd mentioned fish and chips wiping out a day's points....Mmmmm Fish n Chips!!

After being inflicted to a further 15 minutes of prattle from fat middle aged scrubbers talking about water retention and how one of them got so pissed her grandson had to put her to bed, I'd really had enough.

So, then it begun. My diet allows me quite a lot of scope as I get more points for being a man, more for being 35, shit loads more for being a fat cunt. Fish n Chips could be accomodated for less than half my daily points allowance. Despite a couple of early wobbles on the weekend with my niece's birthday I managed to stick to this diet relatively easily and well below my points allowance.

Tonight, I went back with some apprehension for my weigh in, as it got closer to my turn, I got really quite nervous, what if I'd not lost anything? what if my Friday night had scuppered my week?

Well fuck all of that, cos I lost 11 lb in a week, and like they do on the videprinter (eleven fucking pounds). So tonight I'm well happy and more determined than before to continue with this. I'm not comfortable telling all how much I weigh but once I've lost a bit I'll probably say what it was. My staged goals are all about losing 10% of my weight and I'm well on my way to goal number 1.

I've set my own objectives, to be able to shop at regular high street stores like M&S rather than High & Mighty as well as feeling able to fly economy!

Look out for donuts before and after picture in a sunday supplement before Xmas 2009!

More updates to follow

Donuts