Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Film Review - The initiation of Nikki Jayne

Right let's cut straight to the chase. Is this latest porn star from Wigan's new (and apparently) debut movie any good?

We went out and about to get the views of some of Wigan's finest film critics

Les Bagg: "It were smookingly good."

Statto: "Savage"

AM: "I wouldn't fuck about with vaseline or anything i'd just rip off Nikki's Primark thong and dry bum the bint!"

Zoetemelk: "Normal day in Amsterdam for me"

Golly: "Normal day in Whelley for me.
"5/10 - you want a bit of Budapest porn.
"In fact I've got some on me..."

RobT117: "She was in my class at school"

TerryThomas: "She was in my son's class at school."

Dom: "A spokesman from the Coronary Ward at Wigan Infirmary said that Dom was in a stable condition after watching the movie"

Orrible Ives: "It was like Slade Prison on a quiet day."

Tat: "If only she'd not been so enthusiastic I could have got a great cartoon of Golly and Donuts going twos up.
As it is I've just got Golly grinning away in his ref's outfit!"

Donuts: "Golly's got one spotty fucking arse!"

Migs: "Good film but it aint half fucked my sugars up!"

Father Finton: "She was an alter girl at Sacred Heart when I was there."

Jimmy: "There is no way we can advertise this in the fanzine her lawyers will be onto us immediately..."

K21: "Poor - saw more action in two minutes Srebrenica in the nineties.
"Oh and there was no Oasis on the soundtrack!"

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