Tuesday, 26 August 2008


NO. 76: B*WITCHED First there was the Spice Girls, who spawned the loathsome, evil Posh Spice, who made her fella get shit tattoos and wear a gypsy pensioner’s clothes, to be copied by a million wankers in pub beer gardens up and down the country and now lives in LA whoring around events with film stars. But there were many many others, some of which may have had some genuine talent, but suffered because they weren’t fronted by a load of mouthy crack whores.

Let’s not kid ourselves, they had fuck all talent but were capable of generating a lower half twitch when you were lying in bed on a Sunday morning watching The Box – music television you control.

B*witched were Irish, probably still are for that matter. They hit the charts in 1998 with a top ten smash ‘C’est la vie!’ – Wow they’re Irish – yet they speak fran├žais as well!! You couldn’t say that any of them were stunners, the blonde one obviously worth a slice, the curly haired one: well obv but she looked more Albanian than from Dublin’s fair city. The two hogging all the action were indeed the band’s redeeming grace: TWINS!! Even though they had the misfortune to be sister to ex-Boyzone ‘star’ Shane Lynch and had chins that you could balance pint pots on, the fact that they were twins more than made up for it. Before you knew it, the pair of them were in bed with you, one either side saying ‘What are you like!’ in their cheeky Irish brogue as they were wont to do in their effervescent, flowery videos.

After a succession of mid chart hits, the girls got dropped by their record company, although according to Wikipedia, the sisters re-formed as a duo and can now be found playing the pub, clubs and student unions of their native Ireland. Tough times no doubt but I’m sure the feisty Dublin duo will manage to ‘stand up and fight like their da’!!

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